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In Memory Of

I wanted to write about two topics on my mind, but I have lost one of them. It will come to me soon enough. Right now I am trying to look inward and like a detective, try to understand what is going on. After a freak fall down stairs, my {kind of former} father in … Continue reading In Memory Of

The Impact of Intersectionality

Kimberlé Crenshaw’s work and insight into intersectionality impacted the world over. Yet, we still see a lack of authentic understanding that creates barriers for those with marginalised intersectional characteristics. There are many similarities between overt and covert racism and ableism- societal structures that prevent those of us who are ethnic minorities and disabled from living … Continue reading The Impact of Intersectionality

This Is Me

I have always described myself as complicated and difficult to handle. I found this blog post saved in drafts since August 2021. Maybe I had more to share, but was just too exhausted. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. Our self discovery journey is a very complicated one. As the Messenger of Allah ﷺ has told us to live in … Continue reading This Is Me

Try Harder

The more I think about it, the more I am feeling pretty pissed off. In fact, I feel it in my gut! Sick with annoyance and helplessness. You know when you just replay your day when you are trying to sleep? Well the penny just dropped at how awful it was for my psychiatrist to … Continue reading Try Harder

Nobody Believes Me

Being heard is a fundamental aspect of keeping healthy. Mentally as well as physically. Imagine, you had a gapping wound and the doctor said it’s only your perspective, everything is looking fine to us. How would we as a community react to that? Yet, so many of autistics, women, people of colour, and God forbid … Continue reading Nobody Believes Me

War On All Fronts

Tired can be so understated. Even the word overwhelm. When you are an autism of two children, who also happen to be coloured, Muslim, victims of domestic abuse, then words just fail to describe how much damage control is needed. And how does one train themselves to do this effectively? Is there some training to … Continue reading War On All Fronts

A Joined Up Approach?

I am shear knackered at explaining down various phone calls that we need help. You hear of stories of runaways, suicide, domestic abuse, child abuse, sectioned, physical assault, and what not. Did you ever care to think how long the story has been going for? What made the escalation happen? Where were the authorities with … Continue reading A Joined Up Approach?

She’s a Suicide Bomber

07/08/2020 I have never had it that direct before. Usually it’s a comment loud enough for me to hear, but not for witnesses – “AllahuAkbar”. This time, I had witnesses. Not ones I would have chosen. The younger two kids were sat at in the car in sweltering heat, desperate for ice cream. I found … Continue reading She’s a Suicide Bomber

My Faith Isn’t Weak

Too much uncertainty affects everyone. I hear that. Especially in lockdown, everyone got a taste of being disabled. But not many actually acknowledged this. Introverts and anxious folks know what I mean. These are just part and parcel for most autistics. Obviously I cannot comment on behalf of others, but from the people I have … Continue reading My Faith Isn’t Weak

Tangled Emotions

29/07/20 Yesterday I managed to flush out the stuck feelings. Even if that meant picking a hallow argument about unmet motherly needs with oldest. I still don’t feel much lighter. Maybe it’s pms, as the sister picked up on. And the snapping doesn’t help. Everything just tangled together. I am back to being unable to … Continue reading Tangled Emotions

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